"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." - Proverbs 23:7
I've always been a self-confessed pessimist. Never shy about admitting it, I've occasionally been known to even crow it proudly from the rooftops! Flabbergasted? Hang on. I had a good reason to so blatantly endorse a negative thought pattern. Atleast I thought I did. I thought it was smart to be a pessimist. That way, if something nice happens to you, it's a pleasant surprise and if something terrible happens, well you knew it was coming anyways!!
Being the smart person that your are, you must have noticed by now dear Reader, that the previous paragraph is mostly in the past tense. Since mid-January '09, I have made a 180-degree about-turn on what I once presumed was an infallible philosophy. In my usual scatter-brained way, I shall now assume that the minutest details of how my weird brain works is of exquisite importance to all the world and shall proceed to enlighten you on why I have so drastically changed a policy that I had imagined so long, was working for me. If you're yawning already, please feel free to skip to the last paragraph. But if you're the stubborn kind, stay with me Reader, for I'm gonna take you on a ride that might change your life. It certainly changed mine.
I didn't choose to be a pessimist. I don't think I even spent a minute thinking about it as I was growing up (Ever seen a pessimistic child?). As is usual, Life happened to me and after having received a substantial number of kicks under the belt, I naturally chose to be wary of what's coming around the corner. Except that as is normal for me, I was extreme about it. I was the young woman who wouldn't take a risk at anything. I would throw away raffle tickets long before the draw date, build mountains outta termite heaps, moan over things that I imagined would happen sometime or the other and pretty much spent my youth shadow-fencing with life. I wouldn't even try bowling with my friends 'cos I was absolutely sure it would be a gutter ball and everyone would laugh at me! The same went for snooker, entering the best B-school possible, growing in my chosen field of work and even in finding my prince.
I was always the one that hung behind, peering suspiciously, pussy-footing and finally nodding vigorous No's at the myriad opportunities that literally thrust themselves in front of my nose in so many life spheres. My attitude puzzled a lot of people who thought I had all it took and more, to face life's challenges and come out tops. Some even believed I was unfairly equipped as compared to other people. Frankly, their attitudes puzzled me too. I couldn't for the life of me, see what was so great about being me, especially with a magnificent list of past failures to my credit.
By the time I was 30, I was a hardened pessimist who believed that life had a roaring lemon business going, considering the number of lemons it handed out to so many unprepared mortals everyday. I vowed I would never be one of them, and went about it by screwing up my face and bracing myself every time I came to a moment of truth. Truth is though, however hard I braced myself, I still found myself reeling anyways when the expected blow finally came.
Looking back now, I think it mostly came because I was expecting it to! This over-cautious attitude of my past has truly done nothing for me. Sure, it sapped me of positive life energy, allowed me to turn the other way while the chances of a lifetime danced past me, completely lowered my self-esteem and significantly contributed to a string of failures in life arenas where I should by all right never have failed at all. Apart from these ignominious achievements, my negativity has done zip for me.
Mid-January this year, I went through a personal crisis that threatened to swallow up my sanity and envelope me in the mother of all depressions I've ever been swamped in so far. Consequently, an innate sense of survival kicked in and I was forced to re-examine my attitudes and the way they've affected my life. I could remember most of my close friends telling me atleast once that I was negative about something even before I embarked on it or had a chance to explore it. Directed by an intuition that I can only call the 'still, small voice of God', and strengthened by the counselling of His Holy Spirit, I chose to reinvent my attitude towards life.
Prompted by my father who to this day regrets his negativity in most things and encouraged by a colleague who is the very soul of optimism, I took to reading 'The Power of Positive Living' by the Late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale. In a matter of days, armed with Biblical references and true-to-life testimonies, the good Rev.Peale's argument for positive thinking and renewed faith turned my life upside down and showed me I'd had it all wrong all along. I had earlier cultivated to an art, the ability to take the most positive of situations and turn them around so that I was a depressed, whimpering pathetic heap of humanity at the drop of a hat. I found to my great delight that I could use that same ability now, to turn myself into a live-wire engine of upbeat positivity and intense faith within that same time frame. It was only a question of what I wanted to do with those few odd seconds. No wonder then that I found myself healthier, eating better, sleeping better and feeling lighter and happier than I can remember in years. And all this, while I am still immersed in my personal crisis.
Positive thinking didn't change my life. It changed me to face life. I have learnt to recognise that life will always have rainy days and fearsome shadows and dark valleys, but I don't have to dwell on them. Instead, I can choose to lift up my soul in the memory of sunny days gone by and the hope of heaven on earth to come. For a confirmed veteran pessimist such as I, this hasn't been easy. I have had to give myself a complete inner makeover, throwing out old ideas and fears and clinging instead with all I've got, to Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
Positive thinking demands an unwavering faith in God. I have reasoned that i
f it true that the Lord of the Old and New Testaments performed miracles then, and if it is also true that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8), then it also follows that our changeless God is capable of those same miracles even today. In Mark 6:4-6, Jesus is amazed at the lack of faith in His hometown and finds Himself unable to perform many miracles there, save a few scattered instances of healing here and there. I think the message is obvious. Many a time, it is our spectacular lack of faith that blocks what God is yearning to do in our lives.
I am done with losing out on the abundant life that Jesus promised. These days, I subscribe to Rabindranath Tagore's view that, "Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is yet dark". This so closely mirrors Hebrews 11:1 -" Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." And when I say 'faith' here, I mean a complete confidence in the character of God regardless, of past disappointments or future fears or the circumstances we find ourselves surrounded by. It means jumping off the cliff of doubt without a safety net and completely believing God's gonna meet you half-way there. True faith is like the true love of 1Corinthians 13. It always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And of course, true faith never fails either.
Faith is not a virtue one acquires and is done with for life. I have learnt the hard way that instead, it is an everyday struggle, where it is quite acceptable to stumble, pick ourselves up and keep going. The key to unlocking a life filled with pure joy and faith then, is to be able to let go of all that we hold onto in our insecurity....every worldly thing that we think will break our mad tumble into failure , despair and anonymity, and simply cling on with the unquestioning faith of a child, in a God whom we trust, will always give us the best (Matthew 7:7-11).
My faith journey has just started and I have a long way to go. But I am encouraged to know that God is with me on this every step of the way. After all, He did say, "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). And I 'm also privy to the knowledge that when I delight in Him, He gives me the desires of my heart ( Psalm 37:4). Even if He won't, I am willing to believe it is for the best because my God is good ALL the time , not just when He's keeping me happy. With the dawning of these realisations, has come the enabling to action the command in Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is — His good, pleasing and perfect will." And consequently, I know without a doubt, that one day, I will sing in the Psalmist's words, "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry" (Psalm 40:1), praise God!
My challenge to you today is this: Will you step out in faith today, thrust away everything that whispers in your ear that nothing good can happen to you, put your hope in Him (and Him alone) and believe that He will never suffer those who wait on Him to be shamed (Psalm 25:3a)? It's a New Year people.....Chew on it.....
"........Lord I believe; help thou mine unbelief" - Mark 9:24
(For more on what the Word of God says about faith, please click here)
I've always been a self-confessed pessimist. Never shy about admitting it, I've occasionally been known to even crow it proudly from the rooftops! Flabbergasted? Hang on. I had a good reason to so blatantly endorse a negative thought pattern. Atleast I thought I did. I thought it was smart to be a pessimist. That way, if something nice happens to you, it's a pleasant surprise and if something terrible happens, well you knew it was coming anyways!!
Being the smart person that your are, you must have noticed by now dear Reader, that the previous paragraph is mostly in the past tense. Since mid-January '09, I have made a 180-degree about-turn on what I once presumed was an infallible philosophy. In my usual scatter-brained way, I shall now assume that the minutest details of how my weird brain works is of exquisite importance to all the world and shall proceed to enlighten you on why I have so drastically changed a policy that I had imagined so long, was working for me. If you're yawning already, please feel free to skip to the last paragraph. But if you're the stubborn kind, stay with me Reader, for I'm gonna take you on a ride that might change your life. It certainly changed mine.
I didn't choose to be a pessimist. I don't think I even spent a minute thinking about it as I was growing up (Ever seen a pessimistic child?). As is usual, Life happened to me and after having received a substantial number of kicks under the belt, I naturally chose to be wary of what's coming around the corner. Except that as is normal for me, I was extreme about it. I was the young woman who wouldn't take a risk at anything. I would throw away raffle tickets long before the draw date, build mountains outta termite heaps, moan over things that I imagined would happen sometime or the other and pretty much spent my youth shadow-fencing with life. I wouldn't even try bowling with my friends 'cos I was absolutely sure it would be a gutter ball and everyone would laugh at me! The same went for snooker, entering the best B-school possible, growing in my chosen field of work and even in finding my prince.
I was always the one that hung behind, peering suspiciously, pussy-footing and finally nodding vigorous No's at the myriad opportunities that literally thrust themselves in front of my nose in so many life spheres. My attitude puzzled a lot of people who thought I had all it took and more, to face life's challenges and come out tops. Some even believed I was unfairly equipped as compared to other people. Frankly, their attitudes puzzled me too. I couldn't for the life of me, see what was so great about being me, especially with a magnificent list of past failures to my credit.
By the time I was 30, I was a hardened pessimist who believed that life had a roaring lemon business going, considering the number of lemons it handed out to so many unprepared mortals everyday. I vowed I would never be one of them, and went about it by screwing up my face and bracing myself every time I came to a moment of truth. Truth is though, however hard I braced myself, I still found myself reeling anyways when the expected blow finally came.
Looking back now, I think it mostly came because I was expecting it to! This over-cautious attitude of my past has truly done nothing for me. Sure, it sapped me of positive life energy, allowed me to turn the other way while the chances of a lifetime danced past me, completely lowered my self-esteem and significantly contributed to a string of failures in life arenas where I should by all right never have failed at all. Apart from these ignominious achievements, my negativity has done zip for me.
Mid-January this year, I went through a personal crisis that threatened to swallow up my sanity and envelope me in the mother of all depressions I've ever been swamped in so far. Consequently, an innate sense of survival kicked in and I was forced to re-examine my attitudes and the way they've affected my life. I could remember most of my close friends telling me atleast once that I was negative about something even before I embarked on it or had a chance to explore it. Directed by an intuition that I can only call the 'still, small voice of God', and strengthened by the counselling of His Holy Spirit, I chose to reinvent my attitude towards life.
Prompted by my father who to this day regrets his negativity in most things and encouraged by a colleague who is the very soul of optimism, I took to reading 'The Power of Positive Living' by the Late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale. In a matter of days, armed with Biblical references and true-to-life testimonies, the good Rev.Peale's argument for positive thinking and renewed faith turned my life upside down and showed me I'd had it all wrong all along. I had earlier cultivated to an art, the ability to take the most positive of situations and turn them around so that I was a depressed, whimpering pathetic heap of humanity at the drop of a hat. I found to my great delight that I could use that same ability now, to turn myself into a live-wire engine of upbeat positivity and intense faith within that same time frame. It was only a question of what I wanted to do with those few odd seconds. No wonder then that I found myself healthier, eating better, sleeping better and feeling lighter and happier than I can remember in years. And all this, while I am still immersed in my personal crisis.
Positive thinking didn't change my life. It changed me to face life. I have learnt to recognise that life will always have rainy days and fearsome shadows and dark valleys, but I don't have to dwell on them. Instead, I can choose to lift up my soul in the memory of sunny days gone by and the hope of heaven on earth to come. For a confirmed veteran pessimist such as I, this hasn't been easy. I have had to give myself a complete inner makeover, throwing out old ideas and fears and clinging instead with all I've got, to Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
Positive thinking demands an unwavering faith in God. I have reasoned that i
f it true that the Lord of the Old and New Testaments performed miracles then, and if it is also true that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8), then it also follows that our changeless God is capable of those same miracles even today. In Mark 6:4-6, Jesus is amazed at the lack of faith in His hometown and finds Himself unable to perform many miracles there, save a few scattered instances of healing here and there. I think the message is obvious. Many a time, it is our spectacular lack of faith that blocks what God is yearning to do in our lives.I am done with losing out on the abundant life that Jesus promised. These days, I subscribe to Rabindranath Tagore's view that, "Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is yet dark". This so closely mirrors Hebrews 11:1 -" Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." And when I say 'faith' here, I mean a complete confidence in the character of God regardless, of past disappointments or future fears or the circumstances we find ourselves surrounded by. It means jumping off the cliff of doubt without a safety net and completely believing God's gonna meet you half-way there. True faith is like the true love of 1Corinthians 13. It always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And of course, true faith never fails either.
Faith is not a virtue one acquires and is done with for life. I have learnt the hard way that instead, it is an everyday struggle, where it is quite acceptable to stumble, pick ourselves up and keep going. The key to unlocking a life filled with pure joy and faith then, is to be able to let go of all that we hold onto in our insecurity....every worldly thing that we think will break our mad tumble into failure , despair and anonymity, and simply cling on with the unquestioning faith of a child, in a God whom we trust, will always give us the best (Matthew 7:7-11).
My faith journey has just started and I have a long way to go. But I am encouraged to know that God is with me on this every step of the way. After all, He did say, "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7). And I 'm also privy to the knowledge that when I delight in Him, He gives me the desires of my heart ( Psalm 37:4). Even if He won't, I am willing to believe it is for the best because my God is good ALL the time , not just when He's keeping me happy. With the dawning of these realisations, has come the enabling to action the command in Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is — His good, pleasing and perfect will." And consequently, I know without a doubt, that one day, I will sing in the Psalmist's words, "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry" (Psalm 40:1), praise God!
My challenge to you today is this: Will you step out in faith today, thrust away everything that whispers in your ear that nothing good can happen to you, put your hope in Him (and Him alone) and believe that He will never suffer those who wait on Him to be shamed (Psalm 25:3a)? It's a New Year people.....Chew on it.....
"........Lord I believe; help thou mine unbelief" - Mark 9:24
(For more on what the Word of God says about faith, please click here)
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