So Not Fair!

Some 8 odd years ago, I remember watching my youth leader back then, counsel one of the youngest members of the fellowship, who was almost at the point of breaking down. His gripe - "There's no justice in the world. It's so not fair!" "Yeah, yeah kid, we all know that. Get with it and grow up!", I remember thinking, as I settled down close by, trying to pick up counselling tips. I was next in line to don the mantle of youth leader and I sincerely hoped I could keep from making an ass of myself when my turn came to play 'Big Sister' to troubled young adults. I got my wish alright. I did become 'Big Sister' and counselled a horde of  young people on a plethora of issues over the years. But this particular problem never came up again. So I swept it to the 'no-sense-remembering-this-stuff-cos-I'll-never-hear-of-it-again' corner of my mind and went my merry way.

Until one fine day that is, when I woke to find myself (at the ripe old age of 33), plonked in the middle of the complainant's box, with that same gripe - "There's no justice in the world. It's so not fair!"  For a moment I was completely bewildered. I mean it was a tad too late for teenage angst wasn't it? By now oughtn't I have been wise to the ways of the world and learnt to take things in my stride? Didn't seem to be happening though.  Apparently, anger and indignation born of unjust treatment, don't care how old or wise you are. They froth and foam and boil over anyway. 

We Christians are a peculiar breed of people. We are brought up believing in God, love, faith, justice, resurrection, eternal life and a few other things, that the world would classify as 'fairy tales' today. Growing up, like any other Sunday school kid, it was drilled into me that there are two sides to God's character much like a two-sided coin : Love and Justice. He loved me crazily, but His inherently just-as-strong sense of justice, wouldn't let me get away with my sin either. If I deserved to die for my sins, then die I must, insisted His 'just' side. His 'loving' side however couldn't bear the very thought. So He solved the problem by dying in my place and satisfying His just side, while simultaneously fully expressing His loving side. Moral of the story (and that of many others from the Bible): Justice will prevail, even when bound by Love. So beautiful.

Just one problem though. I don't seem to be able to reconcile this with my life situation today. What if you did everything right and still got the short end of the stick? What if you obeyed God and got punished for it? What if you refused to stray from the narrow path and suffered for it? What if you fought against blatant injustice and were totally and completely crushed? Bit of a problem no? No! It's a HUGE problem!

My innermost self rebelled violently against accepting the reality of my situation. Surely the world had got it all wrong. It was sin that attracted death as its wages (Romans 6:23) right? No one said anything about shame and defeat being the rewards of righteousness! It surely couldn't happen! Why not? Because the Bible says so. However I soon realised that whichever way I approached this problem, I kept banging into that same deadend - "because the Bible says so."

Slowly a nasty question crept into my troubled mind....Was the Bible lying then? Impossible! The Bible is the divinely inspired Word of God ain't it? And God couldn't lie, could He? Then how could this happen? Is it possible there is no God at all and I've been a gullible fool? What if there was no God, no moral code, no judgement, no hell and no heaven? Have I been wasting my time all along, stubbornly trying to stick to the straight and narrow while everyone else was living it up? What did I really believe??? Quick and fast the questions flew into my mind like arrows from the quiver of the Devil himself. And as I mulled them over, they grew progressively worse, eroding away my faith like so much sand under the onslaught of a tidal wave.

Just as I was about to be washed away into a never-ending sea of doubt and heartache, the Lord threw in a life preserver and got a-hold of me. A pastor friend I greatly respect, chose to read from Psalm 27 at a family function on that same day. A Psalm of King David that moans and laments the injustice of the world and the many unjust enemies who threaten to rise and crush him. That got my attention. Here was David : a man, a king and someone who live in the BC era. Not one of these attributes had anything whatsoever in common with me, except for his troubles. He had expressed in beautiful song, what my heart sorely felt, but could find no words for. I was amazed. Even centuries ago, human problems had been the same. Injustice had always been around. What then, was the hope for the Christian? Did believing in the Lord Jesus make anything different at all?

Verse 13 of this same chapter answered my questions. After a long line of laments, David concludes:
I remain confident of this: 
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

What faith! My doubting heart hung its head in shame! Here was a king whose very life his enemies were lusting after; a man whose righteous ways had lent him the title 'a man after God's own heart', but did nothing to win his enemies over; a servant of God whose very life depended on whether or not the God of his fathers was for real. His situation was similar, but surely way, waaaaay worse than mine. And he still says he is confident of seeing the Lord's goodness while he still lived!

Food for thought? A 'full meals' for thought actually. King David and I are separated by a timeline that is thousands of man-years apart. And yet to God, it is but an evening gone (Psalm 90:4). Surely our eternal God who is the same, yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8) isn't going to wrap things up and decide to change His basic nature over the space of just one divine evening! Then why wouldn't He do for me, whatever it was He did for King David to epress such unrelenting faith and trust in the Lord? 

When this finally hit my numbskull mind, my heart reeled at the magnitude of the truth. Irrespective of my life situation, God's character isn't about to change. He is neither a liar nor non-existant. In fact, He is the exact opposite. My God is real, my faith is justified and my beliefs are eternal truth. Just because injustice has won one lousy battle in my life, doesn't mean it will win the war too. That honour and title will always belong to the Lord alone! 

A Christian's only real ordeal in this world, is to keep the faith, even when the head and heart see no reason to. In the end the Lord WILL prevail. The trick is to believe in that just long enough. And if I'm caught doubting when He finally wins that battle (and He will...look at history....He ALWAYS has), I'll look a right fool won't I? Evil will always get its come-uppance and righteousness (or atleast our pathetic attempts at it), will always be recognised and rewarded by the King of Kings. If not in this world, then doubly so in the world to come.

I'm reminded at this point of Queen Susan's horn from C.S.Lewis' children's masterpiece - The Chronicles of Narnia. The instruction is that if the horn is used at the time of greatest need, help WILL come. My personal horn has been God's word and the many godly people my life overflows so wonderfully with. In the hour of my greatest need, help has indeed come. Now I can afford to be strong too and wait on the Lord!


Deuteronomy 10:17 - "For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, shows no partiality and accepts no bribes."

P.S. I'd like to acknowledge my debt of gratitude to Damayanti Chandrasekhar and Rathy Sam whom the Lord used through their own gifts of writing, to inspire me into expressing these torrential emotions after so many years of writer's block. Much love, blessings and thank you's ladies! :)