Wooed By A King!

Singlehood is fun. I work as long as I want to, hang out with any of my friends anytime, indulge in as many church activities as I please and generally get to run my own life without having to worry about sensitivity to a partner's needs, emotions or time. Being a spinster also means lesser family responsibilities, greater priority allocation to God and His work and a larger expression of the childlike spirit in me. Meaning, I can go out and sail paper boats in rain puddles all day long if I wanted to, without bringing down fire-breathing in-laws on my head!

But singlehood also has its downside. I, the single person, am the one that eyes couples holding hands at the beach, uncomfortably conscious of my own unheld appendages which seem unusually in the way at times like these.....I'm the solo driver raising an unapproving eyebrow when couples (apparently) in love, zip past me laughing and speeding, down the East Coast Road......I'm the bacholerette in the corner of the icecream shop looking for a barf bag 'cos I can't stand the sicky sweet PDA exhibited by the cosy couple nearby.....I'm the cringing spinster that's wishing the earth would open and swallow me up when a host of well-meaning aunties corner me me at weddings thrusting bachelor bio-datas in my face....And last but not least, I'm the single traveller lugging her own baggage through airports and railway stations while demure wives have their husbands do it for them! Honestly, sometimes singlehood is not all its cracked up to be!

But really, it's not like nice guys grow on trees! Plus, marriage is too big a commitment to be entered into as if I were buying a lottery ticket! I'd rather wait and let God finish his painting on the canvas that is my life. Ergo at most times, I find myself desperately pleading with God, to atleast put the desire for singlehood in my heart if His carefully set plans for my future, are aeons away from fruition. And God being God, has responded in the most amazing ways.

On one of those cranky, frustrating evenings when all the world seems like it's in love and you're the only sad sop flitting around aimlessly with a thundercloud permanently fixed over your head, I threw this at God: "Look Lord, I'm single 'cos you're taking your own sweet time sending me my Adam. I'm fine with that, but then my feelings, emotions and desires become your responsibility! I've honoured your will for me....now I trust you to honour the desires you yourself fashioned in me. Not that I desire much, but could you please send me flowers some time? I would like that so much.....". This was my prayer. A silly one maybe, but it makes sense you know if you've been single as long as I have! The next day, I met an old friend who promptly handed me a lovely long-stemmed yellow Gerbera! I don't have to tell you I was thrown!

But being human (and a suspicious one at that), I needed to be convinced this wasn't some weird coincidence. So I pitched with God one more time. This time I wanted a teddybear (What? Almost every girl gets one from her boyfriend doesn't she?) to be delivered to me, lock, stock and barrel by the following Sunday. Come Saturday night, all was quiet and I told myself that the gerbera was a fluke. Early on Sunday morning, my parents woke me up with a "Happy daughter's day!", a kiss on my cheek and a plastic bag thrust into my groggy face. I don't think any of you reading this needs to ask what it contained!!! My parents are loving people, but not spontaneous or impractical gift-givers and the last time they gave me a doll, I was five! And 'Daughter's Day?' That's a first! But people, in the face of all odds, I actually got what I'd wanted! A Minnie Mouse doll is not exactly a teddy bear, but (I've never looked gift horses in the mouth!) this was nevertheless a doll, just like I'd asked and bang on time too!

By now there's probably an unbelieving open-mouthed gaze or a knowing indulgent smile on your face....depending on whether or not you've experienced these for yourself. But here's the best part yet. Even before I could get over the pleasantly awed realisation of having been courted by the king of the universe, I received a text message from a friend that read: "Everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds (Matthew 7:8)". How apt. The Lord certainly enjoys crowning His deeds with appropriate words doesn't He?

So reader, when was the last time you asked God for something and actually believed you'd receive it? When was the last time you did? While I believe God has a soft corner for all us singles who stay rooted in His word, praying His will be done in our lives, His gracious and loving giving is not limited to this small clique. To everyone who truly believes, however trivial or inconsequential the need, (if it will bring joy and not pain for you in the long run), the Lord is quick to sanction it. Try and you'll see I speak truely.

And to all you singles out there still waiting for God's appointed to make his/her appearance over the empty horizon....chillax ok? Your promised one is on the way and will be here soon. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy having your hand held and heart touched by the love of your life - the Emperor Himself. Open your eyes to the love letters He sends you in every dawn and dusk and your ears to his love song, sung to you so passionately in every human voice and birdsong. Submit to His 'agape' love and trust Him to fulfil all your needs, even the smallest ones. Allow Him to fill your life with Himself and completely sweep you off your feet in divine romance. Yield yourself to Him that He may show you what real love is all about. For our heavenly suitor said, "And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies." (Hosea 2:19)

Me...I'm thinking of asking for chocolates next!

Skipping for Daddy!

A man and his little daughter were taking a leisurely walk in a park on a sunny Sunday afternoon, spending some quality family time together . As they walked, the man noticed that his young daughter was skipping all around him. When he could bear it no longer he asked her why on earth she was skipping like that. To which the little girl replied happily,"I'm skipping because you're my daddy!"

I can totally identify with this young lady. I've found myself skipping at odd moments and in staid company too! Walking on the road with colleagues or friends, my heart would suddenly fill with happiness at the lovely summer weather, the gentle balmy breezes and the laughter and chatter around me. And involuntarily I would skip while bemused onlookers stared with sniggering whispers at this 30-year old woman hopping around around like a frisky lamb in verdant meadows!

Yeah, I know I'm weird! but tell me, when was the last time you skipped, hopped or jumped oblivious to all around you, just to express some unknown happiness that welled up in your heart? All of us have those moments....when you're watching the first raindrop hit the dusty leaves in your garden, when you suddenly realise the beauty of a single rosebud, when you fly a kite and it stays up longer than your friends, when you watch the clouds lined with silver from an airplane for the very first time, when you're eating cotton candy with carnival music in the background, when a yawning little puppy wriggles in your arms, when a stranger in a crowd smiles at you for no reason, when you unexpectedly run into a long-lost friend, when you're sitting cosy with a favourite book and a cup of coffee, when somebody you like sends you flowers, when the weather is perfect and you're on a long drive, when a baby's tiny fingers close around your own holding on for dear life......so many of life's little moments.

At these nostalgic moments do you express yourself or force down the joy welling up inside of you? Is appearing professional, sober and capable more important to you than being able to spontaneously express yourself? If you answered yes, think again. Each of the moments described above and many others have a bit of God in them. Remember He gave us the gift of life so that we may enjoy it, not tolerate it. He wants us to appreciate the little things in life that He so thoughtfully sends us. He desires our hearts to puff up with the joy of having seen God paint His canvas every dawn and dusk with beautiful silvers, pinks, greys and blues. He yearns for us to burst into song at the sound of chirping birds, gurgling babies and babbling brooks. He longs for us to break out into uncontainable excitement everytime His love hits us hard in the face. He waits for us to lapse into awed silence when confronted with the majesty of the works of His hand. And we.....disappoint Him every time.

What's that you say? You have nothing to skip about? Romans 8:15 says, "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Like the little girl, we too can skip simply because He's our daddy! To completely grasp how the King of the Universe, this VVVVVVVIP person, this awesome Creator God can love us enough to allow us to call him 'Abba' is beyond us. But then who's asking you to understand it? Simply celebrate it and skip a little bit today!

Waiting for Green!

Waiting at a particularly trying traffic signal this morning, where the red light was still displaying long after it should have turned to green, watching traffic flowing smoothly in all other directions while we had come to a grinding halt wasn't really fun. And even though I wasn't in a hurry, I could totally understand the dilemma of a gentleman on a 2-wheeler right in front of me.

From my vantage position, I observed the poor chap struggling within himself to choose between abiding by the law and acting on his own sense of justice. To every vehicle waiting on my side, it certainly felt right to simply crash the red light and keep going, since we'd been kept waiting longer than we should have been. Didn't the dumb light know we were in a hurry? Since it had failed us, weren't we right to decide on our own? Thus must have been the thoughts running through the minds of most drivers as was evident from all the impatient honking and loucursing I could hear.

And here was this gentleman, looking desperately around for drivers in the same indecisive boat as he. He gazed enviously at vehicles that boldly decided the red light was wrong and kept making false starts along with them. On the whole it was pretty funny to watch as he seemed to be jerkily moving a few inches ahead of the stop line every few seconds, still keeping an anxious eye out for that elusive green light. When it didn't seem forthcoming, he finally abandoned patience and caution to the winds and recklessly crashed the red signal. Within seconds of this, the signal turned green and the rest of us went happily on our law-abiding way!

"It's only a traffic light for God's sake," you say, "give the poor guy a break!" Fair enough. But I'm not being judgemental here. This man's little internal struggle this morning reminds me very powerfully of my own spiritual struggles everyday. Like a child throwing a tantrum for sweets in the supermarket aisle, when I want something so 'achy-achy' badly, I want God to deliver it NOW!

He of course, marching to the pace of his eternal clock, mostly never responds with an immediate "Go' signal. I know the drill by now - usually a red that (may or may not) eventually change to amber and then to green (or maybe not) at painfully slow paces. I'm talking years here, not minutes or days. In those situations, it takes every last drop of willpower to keep from crashing God's red light and giving myself the go ahead. Not difficult to believe then that many a time have I and my willpower, failed Him.

He would say "wait" and I'd make a half-hearted effort to oblige, all the time hopping from one foot to the other, simply raring to go. I'd look for non-existing signs and signals that encouraged me to stop waiting and I'd look to other people in similar situations who'd decided not to wait either. And when I've collected enough imaginary proof that I ought not to wait, I scan the empty horizon for an "ok" that I know full well will take more time to come. Maybe it's to do with my impatient mortality. But feeling completely righteous and justified, I would happily zip ahead....only to find I'm either dead wrong or that I'm way ahead of God's plans and His time.

Of late though, I've learned that waiting for God's promises to be fulfilled, is worth every minute of the wait. Like a fruit that ripens in season, His plans ripen at their own pace. Shooting ahead of God impatiently will only result in the taste of unripe, bitter sourness in your mouth instead of sweet, honeyed ripeness. If God gave you a promise, then wait for the green signal. Use it as an opportunity to exercise 'self-control' (which is by the way a Fruit of the Spirit and way more powerful than willpower).

Clench your fists and take deep breaths and let the Spirit help you wait for God to weave His beautiful tapestry in your life. Why settle for knotted embroidery threads, tangled in a hurry? This is a test of faith. If God's signal is on red or amber, then stop revving those engines. He knows you're in a hurry and He's saying, "slow down". So slow down brother!

Our Master says, "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." (Genesis 28:13). What's your hurry then? Don't trust the Creator to keep His promises? Excuse me, but you do realise we're talking about the One who gave His only beloved Son to die for all mankind don't you? And you think he'd back out on one teensy promise made to you - one, teensy human? If you've received a promise, then chill friend. The Lamb will never fail you. Simply trust Him and wait for His time....with the ignition turned off of course!

Numbers 23:19 - "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"

Who am I?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading ,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am,
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again,
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am,
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear, Whom shall I fear,
'Cause I am Yours, I am Yours.

I was listening to this beautiful song by 'Casting Crowns' as I worked at office and couldn't help immediately posting this article. My heart brims over with love for this God who is so terribly powerful, so awesomely holy and so perfectly beautiful....and who will still stoop down to love me in all my stained sinfulness and incorrigibly flawed imperfections.

In Him I find my identity....I am His, completely undeserving, but by His amazing Grace forever His. For from the minute He died on the cross, none is able to separate me from the love of Christ!

Casting Crowns has said it all so beautifully, what more can I say? Just this.....with a full and willing heart, I love you Lord.

Stayin' in Love....

When I was about 4 years old, my daddy came home with a gift. To a spoilt only kid, much loved and pampered, gifts were a dime a dozen. But that night was special. With many cootchey cooey noises I was introduced to a new friend, a teddybear! I remember Teddy so well.....a bright orange rubber bear with big black and white eyes and a spotted blue bib. My baby eyes widened as I reached out and grabbed this wonderful new thing I had been given. Then for the next 5 years almost, Teddy lived life by my side.


He was in the bath, in the barber's shop, in bed, in the garden, in the playground, on top of trees and pretty much everywhere else I went. I think mummy only stopped me from dragging him to school by hiding him everyday when I left! And when I got back, no prizes for guessing who I looked for first and who I ended up cuddling last, at night. I loved Teddy and my love showed visibly along his ragged ears where I'd teethed my baby teeth on him. It showed in his one white eye that my ballpen had missed. It showed in the orange spots scratched out in his once all-blue bib. Naah....nobody who saw Teddy could have denied he'd been loved with all the love an 8-year old could give.

Today, teddy lies somewhere in a dusty loft. He doesn't share my bed or travel everywhere with me. So what's the big deal you say? People outgrow these things...we'd be more surprised if you'd held onto him as a 30-year old you say! True enough. Why would you be surprised? Everybody knows it. Love wears thin with time doesn't it?

The attachment you felt for that first bicycle, that rush of adrenalin when you glimpsed your first love, that swagger you adopted when you got your first job, that tender feeling of love and passion when you first got married......they all evaporate over time. Time, the great healer is also the great desensitiser. And human memories are too short to remember that once-great rush of feeling as newer and newer affections vie greedily for your attention everyday! How true then this is, with our relationship with the Lord too.


When we first taste of His Holy Spirit and experience the liberating power of being washed in His blood, the love, passion and loyalty that swell up in us, keep us floating into heights of intimacy with Him, such as which no other tongue can describe. Every voice is His, every incident a message from Him. Every sense is tuned into Him and every nerve of your body longs to be used, to do His will. Every emotion is heightened for His sake and every thought, word and deed is breathed with eyes and heart turned heavenward.


But as hours turn to days and days to weeks, months and years, the ardour cools. God's not so exciting anymore. Sure He's there and you still love Him. But He's no longer the love of your life and the delight of your heart. Other things take precendence....life shifts focus away from Him and like Teddy, the Lord too soon becomes a vague memory.


The church in Ephesus was guilty of forgetting their first love for the Lord (Rev. 2) and God expresses His disappointment in a very lucid manner. Unless they learn to love Him as before, He vows to wipe them off the face of the map. Needless to say Ephesus turned a deaf ear, for the once mighty church-town no longer exists today.


Take note reader. If you once loved the Lord with all your heart, and if with time you have forgotten the sweet taste of His love, no need to fear. Simply return to the fountains of living waters through the communion of His holy Word. The Lord is unchanging, He loves you still. And He longs for you to find that forgotten teddy bear again.

Our God is an Awesome God.....

A couple of weeks ago, while studying the Book of Revelation, my youth class and I came to a description of 'One like the Son of Man' (Rev 1:12-16) who was 'dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.'

I encouraged the class to visualise this figure and all was still as each one struggled to fit this image into his/her own imaginative capabilities. Then the silence was broken when one young man shuddered and exclaimed, "It's scary!". I smiled at this outburst and hastened to assure him that God wasn't scary and that the correct word he was looking for was 'awesome' , when I checked myself.

This reminded me of the song, 'Our God is an Awesome God'. How many times have I sung it, how many times absentmindedly hummed it, taught it, sung it in parts, combined it with another song and explored every musical variation possible......I wonder though, how many times I really realised what I was singing about.'Awesome!' is now an essential part of teen jargon and can mean anything from 'cool' to 'great' to 'wonderful', simply implying that the object being described is impressive. But used in the traditional sense, the word takes on an entirely different meaning. 'Awe' then becomes, 'an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like'.....and this is the meaning I ought to be implying everytime I use it to refer to my God. Why?

Because.....this is the God that created order out of chaos and everything out of nothing. This is He who made the atom and the universe, holding each in the palm of His hand. This is the God that set the earth on its delicate balance, breathing life into all that lives today. This is He that was the Desert God Yaweh, Israels' lover Jehovah and the great I AM who lives yesterday, today and forever. This is He who manifested Himself as fire by night and cloud by day, He who drowned the creators of man's mightiest effort, the pyramids, in the Red Sea. This is He who led Israel against mighty nations and bade the sun stand still. This is He who lifted David to slay a giant with a slingshot and Samson, 10,000 with an ass's jawbone. This is He who came as a humble carpenter's baby, bringing healing into the lives of multitudes. This is He who touched lives with miracles and beat Satan forever on the cross. This is He who raised Peter from fisherman to Rock and Paul from murderer to Chief Apostle. This is He for whom many laid down their lives joyfully and without question. This is He whose Holy Spirit is with us today, comforting, counselling, strengthening us to stand again every time we fall. Because...THIS is the God we're talking about!

How can He not be reverenced? How can we not fear His holy name? How can we reduce Him to a mushy bearded man seated amongst sheep, children and daffodils, who will forever extend mercy and grace and never just penalty? More crudely, how can we take God for an indulgent old forgiving fool?

Without beating around bushes, the terrible truth is this: He who is Love, is also Justice. To not express the Holiness my Lord commands in my life today, especially when I know whom it is that I worship, is to willingly call down divine wrath on my head and life. For when Jesus comes again, it will not be as Pascal Lamb, but as Righteous Judge. Fear the Lord then O ye nations, bend down before Him in holy reverence. Wrap yourself daily with the armour of God and bind His commandments around your heart. Worship Him in spirit and truth and be not contemptuous of His holy Word.

Remember Hebrews 12:28-29: 'Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire'.

Amen.

Eeeeeeeek - ne!

Are you a pimply kinda person? The eeeewwww kinda guy/gal that breaks out into shiny, yellow, ready-to-pop pimples at the slightest reason? Well, I'm not! I remember sailing through high school, college and my twenties, with clear, dew-fresh skin and a smooth, lovely complexion while my friends battled it out with zits, whiteheads, blackheads, pits, scars, and every other teenage skin affliction from hell! Me? I waltzed around without a single tube of medicinal cream in my pocket. Naturally beautiful skin was God's gift to me and I must say I took every advantage of it!

I'm 30 now, well past the pimple-horror years...or so I thought, until I woke up a month ago to discover that overnight, my blemish-free skin had mutineed! I had suddenly been catapulted into acne-land....that dark, terrible place where your face suddenly decides to break out into red, pus-filled painful, itchy, highly visible bumps for God-knows-what-reason! Yeah, I know you think it's disgusting. I would too, if the face in question weren't mine!

So I have a few pimples, what's the big deal? Since it's virtually impossible for those fortunate few (nnnnggggghhhhh) who have never experienced acne, to even begin to understand how it feels (to be standing at the edge of reason watching your self-esteem plummeting to an early and dastardly death), I'll tell you myself what the big deal is!

This is the time when all those wretches you so jauntily frisked by, as they were slouching around with a face full of eruptions, will break a new wine cask and rejoice! This is the time when all the pimply guys you refused to date, will give thanksgiving sacrifices and go "Ha!" in your (zitty) face!

Think I'm exaggerating? Dig this - the majority of human life around me these last few weeks, seems positively gleeful at the sight of my poor, scarred cheeks! Some reveal their secret identities as super-acne specialists and prescribe everything from curdled milk to bat's blood! Some others gaze at me with their best funeral expression and somberly shake their wise heads, while the rest simply point and whisper. And of course, there's the ocassional jerk who will insist everytime he sees me that I might as well get used to it, 'cos my acne ain't going anyplace anytime soon!

What I'd really like to do is to throw myself a screaming fit, yelling, kicking, biting and pulling hair. But I'm supposed to be grown-up see? So I smile, tell them it looks like it's gonna rain today and beat a hasty exit.Yup, my life's not easy...not now.

The hardest part yet is living with myself. Vanity crushed, and illusions of perfect skin shattered, I don't have to tell you what kinda shambles my confidence is in. I find myself yelping at the sight of the mildest reflective surface, gnashing my teeth around beautiful people and living my life, flitting from shadow to shadow. Oh, and of course, my social life is non-existant. How could I let anybody see those ugly pustules decorating my face like Christmas lights?

But like it or not, there is somebody who sees my face no matter where I hide it. Check out what the Word of God tells me in Psalm 139: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. "

Eeeek! That means the Lord sees my face at all times regardless of whether I've even washed it or not! But wait, no need to head for the trees yet. For just a couple of verses away in the same chapter, are these comforting words: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made". I know what that means! It means God thinks I'm perfectly created, pretty in his eyes, pimples and all! What further endorsement do I need? If God thinks I'm easy on the eyes, then that's that....and sucks to anybody else who disagrees!

My acne is still there, but I've learnt to handle it differently these days. Every meanie who spitefully draws attention to my condition, is simply referred heavenwards. Then I sit back and cheer while the Lord Himself defends me. After all, I'm His masterpiece and a few odd pimples here and there aren't going to change that!