Who am I?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading ,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am,
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again,
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am,
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear, Whom shall I fear,
'Cause I am Yours, I am Yours.

I was listening to this beautiful song by 'Casting Crowns' as I worked at office and couldn't help immediately posting this article. My heart brims over with love for this God who is so terribly powerful, so awesomely holy and so perfectly beautiful....and who will still stoop down to love me in all my stained sinfulness and incorrigibly flawed imperfections.

In Him I find my identity....I am His, completely undeserving, but by His amazing Grace forever His. For from the minute He died on the cross, none is able to separate me from the love of Christ!

Casting Crowns has said it all so beautifully, what more can I say? Just this.....with a full and willing heart, I love you Lord.

Stayin' in Love....

When I was about 4 years old, my daddy came home with a gift. To a spoilt only kid, much loved and pampered, gifts were a dime a dozen. But that night was special. With many cootchey cooey noises I was introduced to a new friend, a teddybear! I remember Teddy so well.....a bright orange rubber bear with big black and white eyes and a spotted blue bib. My baby eyes widened as I reached out and grabbed this wonderful new thing I had been given. Then for the next 5 years almost, Teddy lived life by my side.


He was in the bath, in the barber's shop, in bed, in the garden, in the playground, on top of trees and pretty much everywhere else I went. I think mummy only stopped me from dragging him to school by hiding him everyday when I left! And when I got back, no prizes for guessing who I looked for first and who I ended up cuddling last, at night. I loved Teddy and my love showed visibly along his ragged ears where I'd teethed my baby teeth on him. It showed in his one white eye that my ballpen had missed. It showed in the orange spots scratched out in his once all-blue bib. Naah....nobody who saw Teddy could have denied he'd been loved with all the love an 8-year old could give.

Today, teddy lies somewhere in a dusty loft. He doesn't share my bed or travel everywhere with me. So what's the big deal you say? People outgrow these things...we'd be more surprised if you'd held onto him as a 30-year old you say! True enough. Why would you be surprised? Everybody knows it. Love wears thin with time doesn't it?

The attachment you felt for that first bicycle, that rush of adrenalin when you glimpsed your first love, that swagger you adopted when you got your first job, that tender feeling of love and passion when you first got married......they all evaporate over time. Time, the great healer is also the great desensitiser. And human memories are too short to remember that once-great rush of feeling as newer and newer affections vie greedily for your attention everyday! How true then this is, with our relationship with the Lord too.


When we first taste of His Holy Spirit and experience the liberating power of being washed in His blood, the love, passion and loyalty that swell up in us, keep us floating into heights of intimacy with Him, such as which no other tongue can describe. Every voice is His, every incident a message from Him. Every sense is tuned into Him and every nerve of your body longs to be used, to do His will. Every emotion is heightened for His sake and every thought, word and deed is breathed with eyes and heart turned heavenward.


But as hours turn to days and days to weeks, months and years, the ardour cools. God's not so exciting anymore. Sure He's there and you still love Him. But He's no longer the love of your life and the delight of your heart. Other things take precendence....life shifts focus away from Him and like Teddy, the Lord too soon becomes a vague memory.


The church in Ephesus was guilty of forgetting their first love for the Lord (Rev. 2) and God expresses His disappointment in a very lucid manner. Unless they learn to love Him as before, He vows to wipe them off the face of the map. Needless to say Ephesus turned a deaf ear, for the once mighty church-town no longer exists today.


Take note reader. If you once loved the Lord with all your heart, and if with time you have forgotten the sweet taste of His love, no need to fear. Simply return to the fountains of living waters through the communion of His holy Word. The Lord is unchanging, He loves you still. And He longs for you to find that forgotten teddy bear again.

Our God is an Awesome God.....

A couple of weeks ago, while studying the Book of Revelation, my youth class and I came to a description of 'One like the Son of Man' (Rev 1:12-16) who was 'dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.'

I encouraged the class to visualise this figure and all was still as each one struggled to fit this image into his/her own imaginative capabilities. Then the silence was broken when one young man shuddered and exclaimed, "It's scary!". I smiled at this outburst and hastened to assure him that God wasn't scary and that the correct word he was looking for was 'awesome' , when I checked myself.

This reminded me of the song, 'Our God is an Awesome God'. How many times have I sung it, how many times absentmindedly hummed it, taught it, sung it in parts, combined it with another song and explored every musical variation possible......I wonder though, how many times I really realised what I was singing about.'Awesome!' is now an essential part of teen jargon and can mean anything from 'cool' to 'great' to 'wonderful', simply implying that the object being described is impressive. But used in the traditional sense, the word takes on an entirely different meaning. 'Awe' then becomes, 'an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like'.....and this is the meaning I ought to be implying everytime I use it to refer to my God. Why?

Because.....this is the God that created order out of chaos and everything out of nothing. This is He who made the atom and the universe, holding each in the palm of His hand. This is the God that set the earth on its delicate balance, breathing life into all that lives today. This is He that was the Desert God Yaweh, Israels' lover Jehovah and the great I AM who lives yesterday, today and forever. This is He who manifested Himself as fire by night and cloud by day, He who drowned the creators of man's mightiest effort, the pyramids, in the Red Sea. This is He who led Israel against mighty nations and bade the sun stand still. This is He who lifted David to slay a giant with a slingshot and Samson, 10,000 with an ass's jawbone. This is He who came as a humble carpenter's baby, bringing healing into the lives of multitudes. This is He who touched lives with miracles and beat Satan forever on the cross. This is He who raised Peter from fisherman to Rock and Paul from murderer to Chief Apostle. This is He for whom many laid down their lives joyfully and without question. This is He whose Holy Spirit is with us today, comforting, counselling, strengthening us to stand again every time we fall. Because...THIS is the God we're talking about!

How can He not be reverenced? How can we not fear His holy name? How can we reduce Him to a mushy bearded man seated amongst sheep, children and daffodils, who will forever extend mercy and grace and never just penalty? More crudely, how can we take God for an indulgent old forgiving fool?

Without beating around bushes, the terrible truth is this: He who is Love, is also Justice. To not express the Holiness my Lord commands in my life today, especially when I know whom it is that I worship, is to willingly call down divine wrath on my head and life. For when Jesus comes again, it will not be as Pascal Lamb, but as Righteous Judge. Fear the Lord then O ye nations, bend down before Him in holy reverence. Wrap yourself daily with the armour of God and bind His commandments around your heart. Worship Him in spirit and truth and be not contemptuous of His holy Word.

Remember Hebrews 12:28-29: 'Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire'.

Amen.

Eeeeeeeek - ne!

Are you a pimply kinda person? The eeeewwww kinda guy/gal that breaks out into shiny, yellow, ready-to-pop pimples at the slightest reason? Well, I'm not! I remember sailing through high school, college and my twenties, with clear, dew-fresh skin and a smooth, lovely complexion while my friends battled it out with zits, whiteheads, blackheads, pits, scars, and every other teenage skin affliction from hell! Me? I waltzed around without a single tube of medicinal cream in my pocket. Naturally beautiful skin was God's gift to me and I must say I took every advantage of it!

I'm 30 now, well past the pimple-horror years...or so I thought, until I woke up a month ago to discover that overnight, my blemish-free skin had mutineed! I had suddenly been catapulted into acne-land....that dark, terrible place where your face suddenly decides to break out into red, pus-filled painful, itchy, highly visible bumps for God-knows-what-reason! Yeah, I know you think it's disgusting. I would too, if the face in question weren't mine!

So I have a few pimples, what's the big deal? Since it's virtually impossible for those fortunate few (nnnnggggghhhhh) who have never experienced acne, to even begin to understand how it feels (to be standing at the edge of reason watching your self-esteem plummeting to an early and dastardly death), I'll tell you myself what the big deal is!

This is the time when all those wretches you so jauntily frisked by, as they were slouching around with a face full of eruptions, will break a new wine cask and rejoice! This is the time when all the pimply guys you refused to date, will give thanksgiving sacrifices and go "Ha!" in your (zitty) face!

Think I'm exaggerating? Dig this - the majority of human life around me these last few weeks, seems positively gleeful at the sight of my poor, scarred cheeks! Some reveal their secret identities as super-acne specialists and prescribe everything from curdled milk to bat's blood! Some others gaze at me with their best funeral expression and somberly shake their wise heads, while the rest simply point and whisper. And of course, there's the ocassional jerk who will insist everytime he sees me that I might as well get used to it, 'cos my acne ain't going anyplace anytime soon!

What I'd really like to do is to throw myself a screaming fit, yelling, kicking, biting and pulling hair. But I'm supposed to be grown-up see? So I smile, tell them it looks like it's gonna rain today and beat a hasty exit.Yup, my life's not easy...not now.

The hardest part yet is living with myself. Vanity crushed, and illusions of perfect skin shattered, I don't have to tell you what kinda shambles my confidence is in. I find myself yelping at the sight of the mildest reflective surface, gnashing my teeth around beautiful people and living my life, flitting from shadow to shadow. Oh, and of course, my social life is non-existant. How could I let anybody see those ugly pustules decorating my face like Christmas lights?

But like it or not, there is somebody who sees my face no matter where I hide it. Check out what the Word of God tells me in Psalm 139: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. "

Eeeek! That means the Lord sees my face at all times regardless of whether I've even washed it or not! But wait, no need to head for the trees yet. For just a couple of verses away in the same chapter, are these comforting words: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made". I know what that means! It means God thinks I'm perfectly created, pretty in his eyes, pimples and all! What further endorsement do I need? If God thinks I'm easy on the eyes, then that's that....and sucks to anybody else who disagrees!

My acne is still there, but I've learnt to handle it differently these days. Every meanie who spitefully draws attention to my condition, is simply referred heavenwards. Then I sit back and cheer while the Lord Himself defends me. After all, I'm His masterpiece and a few odd pimples here and there aren't going to change that!

So Simple!

I’ve started listening to an audio version of the Bible on my car’s CD player these days and I find it very relaxing to have someone read out the life-giving Word of God while I wrestle with traffic, pollution and time-management issues, not to mention fighting the urge to flip my finger at fellow-commuters who insist of getting in my way!
It was during one of these sessions that I came across the healing of the invalid man by Jesus near the pool called Bethesda (John 5:1-15). I have read this passage innumerable times before and have always dismissed it as one more of Jesus’ many kindnesses to pathetic mankind. Somehow though, that particular day, I was blessed to see the entire episode in a totally different light.
Picture this reader – here is this invalid sick man, lying among thousands like him, hoping like all of them to be healed someday. And that hope had lasted 38 years!! That’s half the man’s life gone. Every morning hope would blossom anew in his tired heart that perhaps, just perhaps today would be the day he would be the first to enter the pool as soon as the angel had stirred it. And every morning for 38 years, he was disappointed.
Yet he hoped and persevered……you’ve gotta hand it to this guy for his patience and spunk what say? Maybe it was this that set him apart from the other sick multitudes there. Maybe it was this patience and forbearance that singled him out in Jesus’ eyes for we are told that He enquires and learns of this man’s pathetically chronic sickness.
Now note this - In all these 38 years, the invalid could see only one way out of his problems – that someone would someday show mercy on him and help him get into the pool first. He had lived 38 years for that one day. And that memorable day did arrive, when Jesus came to the feast in Jerusalem, but not in a way this man could have ever imagined.
Jesus did not attempt to race others to the pool carrying the invalid. He didn’t even attempt to advocate that someone do the same. All He did was to look the man in the eye and say "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." And he did! What amazement must have coursed through his body that moment, that every cell of his being snapped to attention at this stranger’s bidding! What joy must have filled his soul at his freedom, his reinstation among the rest of mankind, his restoration to normalcy. What gratefulness he must have experienced that he now had a chance to resume and fully live out the rest of his life! Thrilling!
I wonder though if he every reflected later, that his deliverance came as expected, but in the most unexpected way. He never in a million years would have imagined that the Son of God would be incarnated and choose to heal him out of the thousands who lay near the pool. And yet it happened. In God’s Time. In God’s way – such a simple way.
We are like the invalid sometimes. Our problems engulf us, take all our attention and demand all our problem-resolving resources. So much so, that sometimes we forget that our answers are not the only ones. Turning to God simplifies our lives, solves our issues and enriches our living in unimaginable ways. So what are you waiting for today? Look up (to God), give up (your problems), live up (your life)!!

Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

WHY?

Questions are forerunners of mankind's progress. The 'How?' question led to unimaginable scientific advancement while the 'Who?', 'Where?' and When?' questions contributed to the enrichment of today's treasury of historical and geographical knowledge. But for the life of me, I find it very difficult to understand why anyone in their right senses would invent the 'Why?' question.

In my opinion, the 'Why?' question must have been the original fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil! Original sin stemmed from a thought that ran along these lines: "Why can't I disobey God?". And here we are today with the world in one big mess!
Think about it. The 'Why?' question - "Why do people die?", "Why do relationships break?", "Why do bad things happen to good people?" "Why is life so unfair?", "Why is there so much poverty, war and violence in the world?" "Why am I here?" and most importantly, "Why is this happening to me?"
The dreaded 'Why?' - root of all discontent....the springboard for man's eternal quest for spiritual answers. Have you noticed how easy it is to come up with an obvious answer to someone else's 'Why?' question? In Biblical times (and sometimes even today), a man's sickness or misfortune were often blamed on his sins and the sins of his fathers AND the sins of his forefathers to boot! Remember Job? Or the blind man from Jesus' time? I wonder though, if every head that nodded agreement at the derivation of this comfortable solution, would have continued to nod affirmation if the illness or despair had been their own.
Life often whirls us into situations of trial, temptation, life-threatening disease, dignity-threatening issues, financial disasters and moral failings and it must be a very hardened heart or a completely hopeless one that doesn't sweep it's eyes heavenwards and cry, "WHY????". But heaven is strangely silent. There is no answer. God seems a million miles away....sometimes, even imaginary....
And yet, the Word of God is firm in it's assurance....."And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). Frustrating huh? It's very clear that nothing can happen to a believer that God is not in control of. But then, doesn't that mean He knows and allows what we're going throught? What could possibly be 'good' about a handicapped newborn or a dead wife or a devastated family or a failed career? What 'good' could God see in the heart-rending pain that He allows us to sometimes suffer?
He dismisses our reasoning of pain being the consequences of 'past sins' with a careless wave of His hand and assures us that present crises are exactly that - of the present and not of the past. Then Why, Why, Oh Why do these things happen? Isn't believing in His holy name supposed to render us immune to the fiery darts of the Evil One? Isn't Almighty God the big kid on the block who's supposed to fight for us? Why then, do failures, disappointments and disasters happen?
The answer is actually rather simple. God never promised us immunity, prosperity or freedom from problems. He freely gives us instead, the gifts of salvation, eternal life and and freedom from sin. But are these intangible gifts worth the very real pain we go through? Yes they are. Why? (see, the incorrigible 'Why' strikes again!) Simply because He thought we were worth the tremendous physical and spiritual pain that He suffered on the cross....
Life will never cease throwing painful situations at you....but the next time you're in one of them, instead of clutching your hair, staggering about and groaning "Why?", you would do well to remember you've got a dad up there with an excellent aerial view of the maze you're struggling to navigate.....and He paves your roads with experiences and situations that draw you closer into fellowship with Him and serve to glorify His holy name some distant day in the future.
”‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11-13). Now if that ain't a guarantee, I don't know what is! So with eyes turned hopefully towards an unknown future and our groping fingers firmly gripped in His omniscient ones, may we gratefully head towards the horizon of a new and completely fresh year.

Blessings, prayers and best wishes for a Christ-centred and radically fulfilling New Year 2007! God bless!

Hair Care

How attached are you to your hair? Whoa, wait, hang on now....before you start discussing your hair loss problems with me, here’s a spot of clarification.....what I meant was, just how much do you love your hair? If I should hazard a guess, I’d say a whole lot! Well, atleast I do.
I’m blessed with thick dark hair and even as a child, I have loved my hair with all my heart. While all the princesses in my fairy tale books (including the very memorable Rapunzel) had looooooooooong, flowy locks, it was the bane of my young life that my mom didn’t seem to see things the same way. No long hair for princes to climb over for her. As far as she was concerned, long hair meant more washing, scrubbing and combing. So every month (with monotonous regularity because my hair grew like the dickens), I’d be dragged off, heels digging into the dust.......to the barber’s saloon.

No, don't re-read that....it was the barber's saloon alright, not a beauty parlour, but the barber’s saloon! My parents are a very practical couple and they didn’t see why a 7-year old had to be dragged all the way to a beauty parlour in the city when the chopping can happen just as efficiently in the friendly barber’s parlour just next door. Ok, so I wasn’t grooming to win any local beauty competitions, but still, a barber’s parlour? You guys may not think it’s such a big deal….but I’m the one that had to sit on a hard wooden seat every month and watch my lovely locks getting pruned off me like a lamb before the shearers!

And inevitably, I would return after every haircut with a jubilant father, visibly relaxed at escorting back a quiet and withdrawn child who on the way to the torture chambers had been a tornado of teeth and feet, biting, dragging and kicking all the way! And beside this victorious man would walk a solitary tearful little figure – me, drooping, wilted, staring watery-eyed at a tiny fist clutching little clumps of my massacred hair that I’d surreptitiously managed to salvage from the barber’s chair!! Yeah people, I loved my hair that much! Don’t feel too sorry for me though, ‘cos I invariably got my revenge. Now my mom wants me to have long, plaited braided hair like a traditional Tamil girl and what do I have? Shoulder-length layered cut! Hee hee!

By this time, you probably have a lifted eyebrow and a “And your point is?” look on your face. Ok then, here’s my point. Sure, I loved my hair enough to take home the remnants, but my grief lasted only a few fleeting minutes. An enticing lollipop from my mom’s mysterious candy cupboard would have had me forgetting my barber shop woes in seconds….after all, it was only hair (Tamil readers, you’ll probably get my gist!) and mine grew like someone fed it Super-Gro anyways! But the Word of God says that the Lord considers even this most superficial part of me, something precious. He cares so much about my hair that He keeps daily count - knows just how many new hairs grow and how many we lose on a daily basis! Now isn’t that awesome? I mean, like why would anyone really bother? But He does bother! Anything that has anything to do with me is His concern, however unimportant it may seem to the rest of the world.

Mothers are known for being hawk-eyed and fiercely protective. They know exactly when baby has popped a stone into his mouth and they know exactly where to hunt for the lost pacifier, stuffed animal or shoe. But even they couldn’t stand up to the attention you and I get from God! He’s constantly watching us as we trudge through life trying to do things our way (consequently messing them up), ever ready to come to our rescue even when we push Him away, planning out a future that we usually toss in the bin and simply seeking our hearts with a yearning to feel His love reciprocated!

Look at it this way people. Here we are worrying about everything from dandruff to death while God’s working quietly, calmly, unruffled and at His own pace. From the top of your head to the tip of your toes, He’s got it ALL covered! So let your hair loose (pun intended) and know that you’re loved….more than you can ever comprehend….yeah, even those of you going bald right now….it’s ok…atleast you’re making it easier for the Lord to keep count!

Matthew 10:30 - And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.