A New song in my mouth….

I think the earliest noises I made that could be termed as anything close to ‘pleasant’ apart from my baby gurgles, were the little ditties my mom taught me. ‘Row, row, row your boat’ I think, was the first song I ever sang, strumming my little red toy guitar and I remember having trouble with the number of ‘merrily’s in it! After that came ‘Jesus loves me this I know’ and ‘Santosham pongudhae’ obediently performed to an audience of bored relatives and proud parents year after year at my birthday parties. Then, when I started school, it was time for the films to take over and I went through a string of songs (having mostly embarrassing lyrics mouthed with my baby lisp) from the hit Kamalhassan and Rajnikanth starrers of that time. Don’t think my parents were particularly pleased with that though. They heaved a sigh of relief when I finally switched over to Sunday school songs. In any case, the point I’m trying to make (if I haven’t made it already) is that music has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

My dad is a renowned pianist and musician and my mom has one of the sweetest soprano voices I’ve ever heard and therefore it was naturally assumed that I would have a lovely voice too. My home reverberates with music at all times of the day, sometimes even at night. We’re a strange family, see? We burst into song whenever we feel like it….and God save the neighbours if they’re not fans of Western Classical church music! But things weren’t always like this. There was a time when music made me miserable.

It happened when I was 14 years old. I’d been dragged away from my beloved Sunday School and made to attend boring, b-o-r-i-n-g sermons inside church (not fair! Kids today can attend Sunday school till age 18!!) and I hated it. Then my dad decided to make my life worse. “Join the choir”, he said. "That way you’ll be more involved in the services". I was consoled. I was this talented man’s very talented daughter wasn’t I? I was going to be wonderful. People were going to swoon left, right and centre at my renditions and those left standing would be gazing at me with mouths open! Oh I had great plans for myself!

I was placed in the first row of the choir along with the Sopranos and thus began my illustrious career as a diva! The first month, things were ok. Then I noticed something. My neck was permanently slanted way, way up whenever we sang……because the notes were too high for me! I couldn’t believe it. How could this happen? I was the best, the best ever…how come the others could sing notes I couldn’t? Maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough. I was sure nobody could match up to me if I did. So I did. All that happened was that my dad noticed his darling daughter squeaking in the front row looking like a frog with a neck sprain!

What happened next was horrendous for me. He very promptly dismissed me to the second row – the Alto row! I was crushed! What? Sing with these women with the voices like men? My dignity was hurt….my feminity offended….so I couldn’t sing a few silly high notes……what was the big deal? Didn’t they know I was going to be the greatest Soprano in the world? My dad hated me…...he’d killed budding talent and would probably regret it in his old age! Such were the morose thoughts that darkened my mind as I spent the first two weeks sulking in a corner, crying tears of humiliation, feeling very sorry for myself indeed.

And then, one of the Altos decided enough was enough. She pulled me close to her and sang to me the Alto part for a song in her clear, deep voice. Then she taught me how to sing like her, beautifully, strongly, clearly……and in time, I realized I actually liked this! This voice range was very comfortable and as I learnt to read notes, my happiness was soon complete. I realized I was actually a part that added the beauty to a plain melody…and those silly sopranos could only sing a plain melody….Ha!

It’s been 14 memorable years since then and I lead the Alto row in the choir today making my dad one proud man. My voice is deeper, clearer, rounder and stronger than ever and if I can give the basses a run for their money today, I have only my God to thank! Besides, everytime we sing a Bach chorale and the Sopranos struggle with the sky-high notes, I smile a secret smile of satisfaction and know I could never have been happy doing that!

What I'm really trying to say is that we all have niches in life and if we're surrendered to God, try as we might, we can never force-fit ourselves anywhere else. Like a piece in a jigsaw puzzle, our God fits us where He knows we’ll do best and it’s in our best interests to listen and obey……so as Psalm 57:7 says, “I will sing and make music…….” to the Lord, all my life long!